Thursday, August 11, 2005

The Last Democratic Wolf vs. the Sacrificial Lamb!

Earlier this week champions of all that is right and just in this world won their first major victory in recent memory. By recent memory I mean since George W. Bush was judiciated the Presidency of the United States in 2000. Robert Novak, syndicated columnist and blowhard extraordinaire was finally bested on the sets of CNN by the Democratic strategist and political commentator James Carville. Score one for the liberals. Of course it would be the one Democrat who’s not a total weenie! James Carville, or Jimmy C as he is known in my house, is consistently the only Democrat who will call Republicans out on their complete tomfoolery with anything more than the pathetic whimpers of a school-girl with a skinned knee.

The Ragin’ Cajun should know something about evil Republicans. After all, he is married to one of the most vitriolic Republican of them all, Mary Matalin. Matalin is a senior advisor to Vice President Cheney. Carville clearly understands the mind of the GOP. In addition, as anyone who is married will attest, has learned over the years of his marriage the secret tricks on how to drive them “out of their skin” bonkers.

Those of you who have been living on the moon for the past several years, or are just severely maladjusted, know that Bob Novak has been embroiled in a scandal of epic proportions. His role is not one hundred percent clear. It was Novak’s column in 2003 that leaked the identity of undercover CIA agent Valerie Plame to the public, yet Novak has thus far sailed through the whole scandal relatively unscathed. In fact, if one was to ask Judith Miller of the New York Times, who is currently breaking rocks with a chain gang, I am sure she would think that Novak was fairing quite well. It seems sadly ironic that Miller is in jail and she didn’t even write an article on this subject and Novak, Bush’s own personal mouthpiece in the press, is sitting free to write his vitriolic diatribes about the liberal media and how Democrats are ruining this country.

But of course, if his CNN outburst is any indication, Bob Novak is clearly cracking from renewed pressure as the media continue to probe deeper into the scandal and begins asking the hard questions that he has miraculously eluded for two years. It is nice to see that the press finally has their collective heads in the game, though it is a stark contrast in the days since the death of the last mainstream American journalist, Peter Jennings, to see that it has taken the press so long to get anywhere with this story.

In their defense, when the subject is a White House leak, increasingly likely perpetrated by Karl Rove, making anything stick can be infuriatingly difficult. This is a White House that closes ranks with staggering proficiency. From Dan Bartlett, the Communications Director to Scott McClellan, the Press Secretary to the President himself, this Administration marches in lock step when troubles arise. If one was forced to compliment this group of rodeo clowns on one thing it would have to be their stormtrooperesque discipline.

I used to just blatantly slander Bob Novak by accusing him of being Karl Roves journalistic stooge. That was until Novak came forward and claimed that in his conversation with Rove it had been he that had told the President’s political advisor that former Ambassador Joe Wilson’s wife Valerie Plame was the CIA agent in question. This might have been believable if it wasn’t so obviously complete hogwash. Novak, of course, cannot account for who revealed this fact to him. This inability to reveal sources make it clear that not only is Novak a blatant partisan hack, he is also a miserable liar. This excrement smells so bad it is no wonder that old Bobby has a sour puss all the time. Or perhaps it is just that, like Ebenezer Scrooge, Novak has been visited by the ghosts of purgatory past, present, and future and he doesn’t like what the future has in store for him.

Who knows how deep this scandal goes. A crime has been committed. If it was not a legal crime it was at the very least in an ethical one. There is now talk that this may also include the Vice President’s chief of staff Scooter Libby. I think when one achieves the position of chief of staff to a high elected official one should probably drop the elementary school nickname. Who knows what the facts are. Well, let’s hope the U.S. Attorney and Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald knows.

Make no mistake, Bob Novak is going down. I wrote in a previous blog post that Karl Rove will not be scathed by this investigation. Instead the Republicans are going to throw Bob Novak out as the sacrificial lamb. Though he may get lucky, it appears that all the Democratic wolves have been de-toothed with the exception of the Ragin’ Cajun.

I won’t lose sleep waiting for criminal charges. Instead I will await the next installment of celebrity boxing where we will see the Cajun vs. Novak and Scooter vs. Turd Blossom. Now that would really be something!

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